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| The World’s Gone Mad For The Swedish Diet! Here’s The Plan!.. |
1. THE AVERAGE HUMAN BEING FARTS 14 TIMES A DAY.
How many times they do it in front of others will determine exactly how “human”—actually, “inhumane”—they are.
2. YOU FART ENOUGH EVERY DAY TO FILL A BALLOON.
The average human toots about 700ml of flatus daily—enough to blow up a birthday balloon!
3. THE SPEED OF FARTS..
Farts exit the anus and enter the world at a speed of 10 feet per second, or slightly less than seven miles per hour.
4. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SMELL?
Truth be told, only 1% or less of the gas in your average, everyday, run-of-the-mill fart has any odor whatsoever. The main culprit is hydrogen sulfide, which generates those rancid “rotten egg” notes that make farts the bane of the world’s nostrils.
5. WOMEN’S FARTS SMELL WORSE THAN MEN’S.
Sure, there’s a certain breed of male idiot who thinks it’s funny to fart in front of others, and to be fair, women don’t tend to be afflicted with that special strain of sadism. But before they start getting all high and mighty, they should realize that female farts have a higher hydrogen sulfide concentration than male ones and thus, fart-for-fart, they’re smellier than dude farts.
